*This post is a reflection on my memories from two years ago, with help from my old journal and photos.
Late 2022 to early 2023: after the first competition
I remember I was thinking about my first competition experience for a while.
Decompression from the competition was needed, but I could not stop thinking about the five months of training and my performance on stage. The whole competition process was physically and mentally demanding and I was exhausted, yet I couldn’t stop going back to the pole. I was proud of myself that I did something out of my comfort zone, but I was stuck on my performance on the stage. No matter how many times you rehearse, you only get one shot on stage – and in a competition, that one moment means everything. But when the time came, it didn’t go like it did during rehearsals. Being on stage in front of judges and an audience feels nothing like rehearsing in a studio. My performance reflected where I truly was — but part of me still clung to the ‘I wish I had done better’ thoughts.
Setting a new goal
When I first decided to compete, I thought it would be a one-time thing — just something to check off and remember fondly. But after the competition, I couldn’t stop thinking about doing better. I felt a strong pull to return to the stage and silence those ‘I wish I had done better’ regrets.
(*Side note: It’s been almost three years and a few more competitions… and yep, the ‘I wish I had done better’ voice is still alive and well. But at the time, with just one competition behind me, I had no idea.)
After the new year, my mind was already in competition mode. But this time, I wanted to compete in Pole Art instead of Classique. (Side note: As of 2024, there is no Classique competition under the USPSF)
Placing in the top 3 in USPSF Pole Art or Pole Sport qualifies you to advance to the POSA World Championship. Later, I watched US athletes—who are also my friends from the same pole studio—compete on the world stage, and I dreamed of being on that stage one day. At that time, I consider myself at a lower to mid intermediate level. I could not handspring, for example, I haven’t mastered those advanced tricks yet. I had only about two years of experience, and aiming for the world stage felt scary and unrealistic — but I was determined to try that year. I’d rather try and fail than not try at all. Those lingering ‘I wish I had done better’ thoughts eventually turned into motivation.
I began training in late January for the August competition, with more time than before — but the timing was tough, since I moved from Arizona to Florida just a month before.
In my next post, I’ll share more about my training, injury, and relocation.
Thank you for reading!
