It has been a while since my last post. First time parenting fills my days in ways I couldn’t have imagined and time to write comes in small pockets. It has been almost five months since my child was born, though it feels like years already. Perhaps it’s the sleep I haven’t been getting, but I’ve loved every second with my baby. I still intend to write about my past competition experience (Pole competition posts) in the near future. For now, I want to write about my postpartum pole experience while my memory is still fresh.
Returning to exercise and pole
My physical therapist told me I could start taking short light walks as early as two weeks after giving birth. She also recommended diaphragmatic breathing. Hearing that I could begin moving again so soon made me genuinely happy. I took my first short walk around the neighborhood three weeks postpartum. After staying inside for almost a month, walking under the sunshine felt incredibly refreshing.
My anticipation of returning to pole was high. I wanted to get back on the pole as soon as possible. I had stopped pole at 34 weeks pregnant, and I missed it deeply. I was also scared of how much strength I might have lost.
Six weeks seemed to be the standard recommended timeframe for returning to exercise. I patiently waited until after my six-week checkup with my OB to get back on the pole. My OB did tell me to start with beginner moves. I started with pole walk, dip, boomerang spin, and then tried any tricks I could think of. Reiko mount, handspring, invert and then shoulder mount.
First pole session after giving birth
The moment I had been waiting for! Being back on the pole, moving the way I did before pregnancy. As my pregnancy progressed, more and more tricks slipped out of reach (Pole while pregnant post). I missed being upside down. I missed the freedom of movement and the strength I once trusted.
I knew returning to the pole wouldn’t be easy. Still, my first session hit harder than I expected. It felt devastating and deeply discouraging. My body felt unbearably heavy. I could barely climb, and inversion was completely out of the question. The whole time I kept thinking: Am I supposed to like this?
I understood, logically, that strength would return with time. In that moment, though, it was hard to believe. Everything that once felt natural felt difficult. I finished my first postpartum pole session earlier than planned. Discouraged, drained, without the stamina to continue.
Getting back my strength
I saw my physical therapist after my first pole session. When I told her I had tried pole, she laughed… or more accurately, smiled, and told me I needed to reconnect with my core. I agreed. My body was not ready to be on the pole. She gave me a few exercises, and I focused on those first. I also started to practice inverting and shoulder mount from floor with breathing technique. By nine weeks postpartum, I managed to do a handspring and Reiko mount, two moves I had been able to perform towards the end of my pregnancy. By eleven weeks, I could invert and shoulder mount again, though it required a great deal of effort.
Getting used to the pain again
Friction burns and bruises, also known as pole kisses, are part of pole. I went through them when I was a beginner. My skin was used to the pain; however, I feel it hurts worse than when I started pole now. I remember how much my skin hurt against the pole at first, and overtime, the pain faded. My skin adjusted.
This time it feels different. After stopping many tricks during pregnancy, my skin is clearly no longer used to pole kisses. That part makes sense. What I didn’t expect is how much worse it feels compared to when I first started pole. Did it really hurt this much back then, or is my skin more sensitive now?
Either way, the pain is discouraging. Even beginner tricks like inside and outside leg hangs hurt intensely. I knew rebuilding strength would be part of returning to pole. I just didn’t expect that I’d have to learn how to tolerate the pain all over again.
Unexpected Pain — Poling while breastfeeding
There was a new kind of pain I discovered after returning to pole, one I never anticipated. When my full, breastfeeding breast presses against the pole, it hurts. A lot. I first noticed it while trying to invert, and the sensation completely caught me off guard. This was an entirely new kind of discomfort I had never experienced before.
Before and during pregnancy, I couldn’t really picture myself breastfeeding. I wasn’t against it; I just couldn’t imagine it being part of my life. I had planned on formula feeding. My priority was simply feeding my baby, one way or another, without stressing over whether I could produce enough milk.
What surprised me was how strongly breastfeeding is recommended. During my hospital stay, I asked a lactation consultant which formula she would suggest. At that point, I was already breastfeeding, but I wanted a backup plan in case my supply wasn’t enough. She told me she recommended exclusively breastfeeding and didn’t suggest any formula, since I was producing enough at the time.
Whether a baby is breastfed or formula-fed, what matters most is that the baby is fed. I’ve been fortunate to breastfeed so far, though I don’t know how long I’ll be able to continue. Still, I never expected breastfeeding to follow me onto the pole or to introduce a completely new kind of pain along with it.
Fast forward a few months…
Now, at almost five months postpartum, invert and shoulder mount have become easier. I still struggle with aerial invert, and aerial shoulder mount seems impossible. Even so, I feel stronger. It no longer feels as discouraging as it once did.
I am still dealing with the pain I mentioned above, and my pole sessions continue to have ups and downs. Some days I feel great; other days I feel completely drained. I still have a lot to regain before I feel like my pre-pregnancy self. My physical therapist told me that I may start feeling more like myself around six months postpartum, but that can take up to a year to truly feel back to pre-pregnancy. It sounds like a long time, yet I feel that I will need all that time to rebuild everything.
My dream
Even though it feels like I still have a long way to go, I want to return to competing in a few years. My previous performances did not fully satisfy me (Pole competition posts ), and my goal is to create a piece that truly does. I already have songs and theme ideas in mind for my next competition.
For now, I will continue training a little bit at a time while enjoying this season with my baby. I plan to write about my progress again in a few months.
Thank you for reading!
